A note before we begin:
This is not a criticism of teachers or of any particular school. Many teachers work with real care. This is one father’s honest account of what he found — and the questions it raised.
Introduction
My son is four.
Six or seven months ago, he started playgroup. It was not entirely my decision. Family members said it was time. Everyone’s children go. “He’ll fall behind.” “He needs the environment.”
So he went.
And like most parents, I trusted the process. I paid the fees, packed the bag, and assumed that whatever happened inside those walls was worth what it cost.
Two days ago, I sat down to help him study. And for the first time, I properly opened his books.
What I found changed my decision about his education — and about my younger son’s too.
What Was Actually Inside
The books covered the basics. Letters. Simple words. Numbers. Colours. Shapes.
Nothing wrong with any of it.
But then I noticed the structure.
These same basic foundations were divided into three parts — spread across three years of playgroup, nursery, and prep.
Three years. For material that a parent sitting beside a child for twenty minutes a day could cover — naturally, through conversation, play, and daily life — in a matter of months.
I turned the pages again. Then again.
And a question formed that I could not put down:
What exactly are we paying for?
I Am Not the Only One
Since that evening, I have spoken to friends, relatives, and other fathers. And I have heard the same thing again and again, in different words:
“I’m spending lakhs, and I can’t see the result.”
“My child sits frightened in the classroom.”
That second sentence stays with me.
A frightened child is not learning. A frightened child is surviving. And a four-year-old should not need to survive anything — least of all the place where they are supposed to discover the world.
This is not one family’s problem. It is a pattern.
What Research Says About This Age
My instinct was confirmed by research I had already spent months reading.
Finland — one of the world’s highest-performing education systems — does not begin formal schooling until age seven. Before that, children play, explore, and learn through daily life.
A study by researchers at Stanford University, using large-scale data from Denmark, found that children who started kindergarten a year later showed dramatically lower inattention and hyperactivity — an effect that persisted years later.
And long before any study, Islamic guidance pointed in the same direction. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Command your children to pray when they are seven years old.” (Abu Dawud)
Even for worship — the most important act of a believer’s life — seven was the age given.
So why are we sending four-year-olds into formal instruction, and calling it a head start?
What a Four-Year-Old Actually Needs
When I looked honestly at what my son needs right now, the list was short:
- 🗣️ Real conversation — with adults who listen and respond
- 📖 Stories — read aloud, every day
- 🌱 Nature — soil, plants, animals, weather
- 🧺 Real tasks — helping at home, feeling useful
- 🏃 Movement — running, climbing, playing freely
- ❤️ Safety — feeling loved, not measured
None of these require a classroom. Most of them are harder to provide inside one.
And I already had most of them. My sons come with me to care for our birds. They watch eggs hatch. They dig in the soil. They ask questions I sometimes cannot answer — and we find the answers together.
That was already education. I just hadn’t called it that.
The Decision
So here is what I decided.
My elder son will finish this year. Stopping suddenly would be unfair to him — he has friends there, and routine matters to a child.
After that, he will learn at home.
And my younger son — who has just learned to walk — will not go to school at all. He will learn at home from the beginning.
We have given this a name: Nasheman — a nest. The place where young birds are raised, protected, and eventually taught to fly.
Because a nest does not cage a bird. It prepares it.
“But What About…?”
I already know the questions. I have heard most of them from my own family.
“Are you qualified?”
My wife was a teacher. I tutored children through my own college years, and their parents came to thank me when results arrived. But more importantly — no one knows my children as I do.
“What about socialisation?”
Weddings. Funerals. Visiting the sick. Eid. Neighbours. Grandparents. Cousins. The social world Allah built is far larger than a classroom of thirty children born in the same year.
“What about their future?”
That is exactly what I am thinking about. I want them to grow up curious, confident, and capable — not frightened, and not trained only to pass the next test.
So What Should a Parent Actually Do?
I am not saying every family must homeschool. Circumstances differ. But every parent can do this:
1. Open the books.
Sit with your child for one evening and genuinely look at what they are being taught — and how long it is taking.
2. Watch your child’s face.
Do they talk about school with excitement — or silence? A child’s emotional state tells you more than any report card.
3. Ask what the fee is buying.
What does your child receive there that they could not receive at home?
4. Protect the early years.
Whatever you decide, make sure the years before seven are full of play, stories, nature and conversation — not pressure.
5. Stay present.
Whether your child is in school or at home, the parent remains the first and most important teacher. That role cannot be outsourced — not for any fee.
A Final Word
I did not plan to become a homeschooling father.
I only opened my son’s books.
But sometimes that is all it takes — one honest look at what is actually happening, instead of what we assume is happening.
Our children do not need to be rushed. They need to be raised.
And for my family, that raising will happen at home — in the nest — until they are ready to fly.
At Charades4Kids, everything we share comes from this same belief — that children learn best through play, not pressure. Like a grandfather’s story.
Where Charades Fits In
This is also why charades sits at the heart of this website.
Everything a playgroup book tries to teach over three years — words, actions, animals, objects, colours — a child can learn in a single evening of play with their family.
When a four-year-old acts out a cat, a rainy day, or eating a mango:
- 🗣️ Vocabulary — they connect words to meaning, not memorisation
- 🧠 Thinking — they work out how to show an idea without saying it
- 👀 Attention — they watch, read expressions, and guess
- 🤝 Turn-taking — they learn patience and fairness
- ❤️ Connection — and it happens with the people who love them most
No book. No classroom. No fee.
Just a family, twenty minutes, and a room full of laughter.
That is not a break from learning. At this age, it is learning.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is playgroup necessary for young children?
Research does not show that formal early instruction produces lasting advantages. Finland begins formal schooling at seven and ranks among the world’s best systems. Children in the early years benefit most from play, conversation, reading aloud, nature, and secure relationships — all of which can be provided at home.
At what age should formal learning begin?
Many high-performing systems begin formal schooling around six or seven. A Stanford study found that children who started kindergarten a year later showed significantly lower inattention and hyperactivity years afterward. In Islamic guidance, the Prophet ﷺ gave seven as the age to begin teaching prayer.
How can I tell if my child is struggling at school?
Look beyond grades. A child who is anxious, withdrawn, silent about their day, or frightened of going may be struggling emotionally — even if their results look fine. A child’s emotional state is one of the clearest signals available to a parent.
Can parents really teach the basics at home?
Yes. Letters, numbers, colours and shapes can be learned naturally through daily reading, conversation, games, cooking, and play — often far faster than a structured multi-year curriculum. What matters most is consistency and genuine attention.
Do I have to homeschool to protect my child’s early years?
No. Every family’s situation is different. But every parent can protect the early years by staying involved, limiting pressure, reading daily, and making sure play and connection remain at the centre of a young child’s life.
How can charades help a young child learn at home?
Charades turns basic learning — words, actions, animals, everyday objects — into play. A child acting out a word connects it to meaning through their body, which research on embodied learning shows is remembered far better than rote repetition. It also builds attention, turn-taking and confidence, while keeping the parent at the centre of the child’s learning.